Freeskier, 38

Standup comic looking for his muse So let me tell you a bit about myself.

My name is Mark. I'm an aspiring (though struggling) stand up comic. I make fun of others to feel better about myself. I don’t wear pink because I’m not secure in my masculinity. I say soda, not pop - I say crick, not creek. Popped collars are for pricks and baseball caps should be worn forward with the brim curved, not flat.

I write jokes no one wants to hear and a blog no one reads. I think that religion is used to control the masses, but that agnostics are indecisive. I support free speech so long as I agree with you - but there are such things as wrong opinions and I will tell you when you have one.

I’m a liberal but not a democrat - I support the death penalty but I’m not from Texas. I think that most arguments can be settled over a game of Mario Kart, and that all gangs should be required to sing and dance like the MJ video, "Bad".

I believe that form follows function but form can be confusing. I think air conditioning prevented a second civil war, that Lord of the Rings was way too long, and that Frodo was “fabulous.”

I love transfat in my fast food and cholesterol in my milk. I do not let the names of food dictate the time of day I eat them. I will eat a burger for breakfast, French toast for dinner, or cake as an appetizer - but, fruit is never a dessert.

Most of all, I believe in the human right to change my mind, and that I don’t need to explain myself to anyone other than my mother.